agingrebel.com
In case you missed it, a new page titled Citizens Against Motorcyclists popped up on Facebook six days ago.
According to its anonymous author, the
page “is a grassroots social organization aimed at outlawing motorcycles
and prosecuting those who engage in ‘biker’ culture. Join our cause and
help us to rid the roadways of these savages!”
As of this morning, the page had 27
followers and 269 comments to posts like “Did you know biker clubs are
responsible for 90% of sex trafficking, drugs and child pornography in
America?”
And, “Like And Share If You Think Police
Officers Should Be Able To Search Motorcyclists Without Probable
Cause!” Of course, police do that already by using imagined traffic
violations, their expert “training and experience,” drug detecting
wonder dogs and the motor vehicle exception to the Fourth Amendment.
Wait For It
Creating yet more constitutional
exceptions for motorcyclists is something Citizens Against Motorcyclists
is “really trying to push. Here’s why. Bikers already look very
intimidating, most of them carry weapons and also have
Drugs/paraphernalia on them. If anything, Motorcyclists should be open
to this not only to prove they’re abiding all laws, but to also assure
the police officer’s safety. LIKE & SHARE IF YOU AGREE.”
Enjoy Citizens Against Motorcyclists
while you can. Chris Rock once said something like, “If you want to know
whether somebody is stupid or smart, tell him a joke.”
Like, “Don’t you hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious?”
Citizens Against Motorcyclists is one of those jokes. It is drily tongue in cheek and a little too subtle in the Age of Trump.
Satire Is Dead
Some commenters seem to get it. One describes the page as “PETA meets bikers.”
But satire is currently on its deathbed
so most of them don’t. “What the actual fuck. This is bull shit. If they
can just search me for being on my Harley then they can just search you
for driving your BMW and for being a dumb fuck,” one concerned biker
sputtered.
And, “Ru a fucking Asshole or what.”
And, “Fuck you and your ignorant stereotyping. You wouldn’t qualify to
be biker material. Our standards are far higher.” And, “Frkn nutz!! Get
rid of the soccer moms that are so fucked up on wine and prescription
drugs!!! Then get rid of the Trucking industry as well!!!” And, “…your
dumb ass should go get a booth at Sturgis and spread the word see how
that goes for you.” And, so on.
The real fun has yet to begin. There
are, after all, actual, grassroots groups with names like Concerned
Citizens Against Loud Motorcycles. So just wait until the bikers rights
crusaders discover this guy, whoever he is.
